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THE EGO & THE EISEGESIS
I've written a lot about my illnesses over the years.I was a sickly child; the runt of the litter.I suffered both physical & mental 'trauma' at an early age, and I became a statistic.I'm now a...
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1393 'n All That.......So there I was.Cradling a Thatchers outside Beccles' Kings Head pub, enjoying the warm sunshine, and observing several hard-hats destroy the interior of the once lauded Covent...
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A CHAMBER-POTTED HISTORY OF THE ART OF DWILE FLONKING CHAPTER 1. 1.In March of 1742, Evangeline Yallop – daughter of the Reverend Stanley Barsham, vicar of Darsham, wrote in her diary of her...
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JANUARY TOOOn the ninth day of Christmas…………I emptied the bins, but found nowhere to put all the recycling.Assuming the fish, the birds, the dolphins and all the other stuff on Blue Planet II have the...
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INTO THE MOUTHS OF BABES
So. (Interactional agenda conjunction)Last week we covered the Nativity.We’re not going to examine the role of the shepherds or the donkey at this point.It could be argued that they are benign plot...
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MIKE
In the interests of balance & equality, I’d just like to say that my recent journey back from the West Country was faultless.I am a curmudgeon when it comes to rail travel.My tickets were valid,...
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THE MORNING AFTER THE NIGHT BEFORE.
Ok.So you wake-up on June 24th and you haven’t won.You’ve put your money and your ballot paper on the losers.The complete opposite of what you wanted to happen has happened.What do you do?Do you accept...
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WHEN ABSTENTION IS THE ONLY REAL CHOICE.
Dear Liberal Lefty Friends,I will not be voting in the forthcoming Leave/Remain UK Referendum.I have thought long & hard about this.I am pro-choice (in politics and beyond), and I do not see any...
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40 SHOPPING DAYS & 40 SHOPPING NIGHTS (A little ditty for artificial...
The turkeys are too fat to shagThe turkeys are too fat to shagThe pimp with the pipette has stifled his gagThe children are halting, half pelican crossingpanting and texting and short term of breathThe...
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THE ALLOTMENT
After their rather lengthy meeting in the pub, lifelong friends Thomas, Richard and Henry decided that it was a no-brainer.Their collective shopping bills were astronomical, they were all in the rudest...
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CECILE
Cecile didn't understand social-media.And why should she?If any of the other birds had anything to say, they didn't tweet; they gobbled.All day.They all knew that one day, if the sky didn't fall in,...
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DIARY OF A 21st CENTURY OPIUM-EATER.
Day 7:It wasn't the crippling constipation in the end.I wonder, when people say they're 'shitting bricks', if they really know how it feels to shit a brick?And it wasn't the dry mouth or the sweating;...
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DIARY OF A 21st CENTURY OPIUM-EATER
DAY 5:Constipated.Severely constipated and very angry.(Unsure if the two are related?)Still.I've been pain-free for three of the last four days.(If you discount the unripe watermelon in my bowels).OCD...
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DIARY OF A 21st CENTURY OPIUM-EATER
I have been prescribed morphine, an opiate derived from the opium-poppy.Over the past few years, I have been passed from pillar to post, consultant to GP to specialist, clinic to operating theatre, and...
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YANNY MAC'S TENNER LADY XMAS
Great to see Krusty back on our telly-box last night, after what seemed like an interminable amount of time away.Ms. FullSock decided to give the FREE STUFF a rest for a bit...
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TOP 3 NON-PREMIERSHIP ADVERTISING HOARDINGS (w/e 15-04-12)
Dedicating this week's TTNPAH to the building trade, in particular Gary Finney, for the tireless work he has done on the Recreation Ground.MASONS SCAFFOLDING: SCAFFOLDING - Millwall.DAWS HEATH TIMBER:...
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BIG DOG BEDTIME
And so sadly, we come to the end of another Big Dog Summer. We've been blessed with otters, ospreys, kingfishers and thunderstorms. George & Audrey, our resident swans, have gone with the flow....
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YANNY MAC'S TEN MINUTE 'FILL YOUR HOUSE FOR FREE'.
Inspired by Krusty Allsopp's attempts at creating a 'man-cave' for absolutely no expenditure, at all, whatsoever, and completely for free, I've decided to concentrate on one of the grittier aspects of...
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REMEMBRANCE WEEKEND (A rant from the Noughties)
REMEMBRANCE WEEKEND (A rant from the Noughties)I can’t remember where it was, or even when?Just a green hill farawaywhere holy-grails and lay-lines lay.Summer solstice, summer bank holidaysometime in...
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TESTY TESTY BLOG STATS & KEY WORDS (23-4-14)
In a vain attempt at reducing his carbon footprint on EARTH DAY (aka ST GEORGES DAY), "local poet & blogger"(NEW YORK TIMES) YANNY MAC confirmed via the internet that he and TORI...
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